UPLIFT Presents

Anger & Pain

Scarlett, 47 - Atlanta, USA

Angry thoughts don’t happen in a vacuum. They are always predicated on something, and normally, it’s pain. You have an experience, and you feel anger, but it’s always associated with another feeling. Usually with pain, you can be feeling fearful or anxious or frustrated or lonely or humiliated. All of those feelings can evoke anger. The key to forgiveness is really understanding. It’s understanding that we’re all doing the best that we can with the tools and skills that we’re given at any point in time. For the most part, when somebody does something that hurts us, they’re usually doing that out of their own pain. I think of my own experience in having my son murdered by an angry former student, and when I learned about his life, I realised that he was in, actually, a tremendous amount of pain, and that he had actually done everything that a young boy is supposed to do. He had cried out for help in the ways that a young person will, by writing things, by saying things. He was basically ignored.

When you really stop, and you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and you understand where they’re coming from, you can maybe even feel a little bit of what they were feeling. When I stop to do that with Adam, I can almost feel anger for him. It’s in this way that I began the process of forgiving because forgiveness is really a process. It starts with a conscious choice, but then, it becomes a process because of course, anger comes up, right? You have to take a deep breath and make that choice to forgive again, because of course, forgiveness is simply cutting the cord that attaches us to pain. It’s really benefiting the forgiver much more than the person who is forgiven.

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UPLIFT stands for Unity, Peace and Love In a Field of Transcendence. UPLIFT films are dedicated to exploring the interface of science and spiritual practice for the creation of a more holistic and empowering worldview.